It's time

I wake up to the sound of birds singing at the window of my hotel room and sunlight hitting my tired eyes. It's the twelfth of December, and today's just one of those cold mornings that I have to get used to. I sit up on my bed and stare at my pink dainty dress that's lying on the side table. And I smile at the thought of wearing it today. Or maybe, I don't have to at all.

I wake up to the sound of my family from the other room busily making arrangements for today's occasion, and a message from her. It's the twelfth of December, and today's one of those mornings that I have to face with a heavy feeling on my chest. Mom peeks at my door and tells me to get ready. I stand up even if my knees are wobbling. Here goes nothing. 

I walk to the small kitchen to prepare coffee and a light breakfast for myself. I sit alone, a bit shivering as I put my legs against my chest and hug them. I hold the hot cup of coffee above my knees and stare at the dark liquid. Minutes after, a tear drops on it, and I wipe my face instantly and breathe deeply. This is harder that I thought it would be. 

I take a bath, change into my black slacks and camiso de chino. I stare at the mirror and look intently at myself. I look down at the bedside table and see the box of rings. I hold it tightly, and remember that certain green box that also held two rings years ago. I check my necklace and touch one of the old rings attached to it. My older brother suddenly knocks at my door and tells me... it's time. I smile at myself in the mirror. 

I take a bath, let myself stay in the bath tub longer to relax myself. But I stand up because the cold starts creeping up my veins. I dry myself and look intently in the mirror then walk back to my room. I put on my dress and shoes slowly, walk to the door of my hotel room, hold its knob as I sob endlessly.

I walk outside the beach house and drag myself to get to the other side of the shore. Everyone smiles and looks at me as I pass by the aisle decorated with lilies. I stand beside the altar, look at my feet and fiddle with my fingers. Music suddenly plays and I look up to see her, glowing yet in tears. She knows what is going through my mind. She stands near me, and says everything to me with a painful smile. I smile back and whisper sorry, then I run past her. I hope I'm still not too late. 

I cry in regret for an hour, sitting in front of my door. I cradle myself as I feel stabs of pain through my chest. I lost him once, and I'm losing him again at this very moment. I feel the ring trapped between my dress and skin and I try to hold it when I hear a knock on the door. I gather all the energy I have left to stand up and open it.

I see disbelief and joy all at once on the face of the woman I love when she sees me. I waste no time and I hug her like the first time I did, pressing her body tightly against mine, feeling her heartbeat. We need no words to speak, no explanations to hear.

We may have lost each other before, but I know, we know, this time... it's our time. 
We may have lost each other before, but I know, we know, this time... it's our time.