Changes.

       My days started at 1:30 a.m. as people on the side of my world are still tucked in their beds, sleeping soundly and clueless of my awakening thoughts.

As a new day unravels before me, every breathe, every movement and strike of the morning breeze reminds me of how my life has changed in just a couple of days .

I just came from a very heart-wrenching break up that I don't even know how long it would take for me to heal.

I also work every Tuesday and Thursday morning for another news program to keep me busy, take my mind off things and lessen my urge to cry.

On the brighter side of things, I’m receiving a new "baby" besides Alex and Adam. She's candy red and I'm naming her Amber. She's actually one of the greatest things that's keeping me sane these days aside from my family and friends.

God really suprises me every day.

 I can't believe how he's been kind to me, trying to balance my life and giving me reasons to hang on and move onwards as I fight for life .

I actually don't know what might happen to me for the next days or months, but all I know is that I am putting my life in His hands, trusting Him more than I have ever done before.

I would let go and let God as people would usually say, and watch my life unfold like a book that's waiting to be read.

I can’t wait!

Martin

I'll see you soon. :)

27

Dear 27-year-old me,

Hello there!

I had a rough, sad day today and I'm just wondering how you are. I have my period (does your monthly visitor come regularly now?), I'm feeling pretty emotional and I didn't feel like working today, but I'm pretty sure you've surpassed all this so here I am just going on with life.

What have you been up to lately?

Are you still working for same network doing the same thing? Are you now a reporter, or have you taken your master's degree and then tried applying as one? Do you still live here or you have migrated to another country like some of your friends?

 Are you still in touch with Chrisannielle and The Jeep? Are you still as friendly as I am now that you've gained much more friends?

Do you still meet up with your mama and papa? Is Kuya Noel married now and is Kuya Albert almost done with priesthood? 

Are you married to the man I love right now and have two wonderful kids with him?

Are you still who I am now; do you still laugh so loud and not care whoever can hear it? Do you still do crazy things and not regret them after? Do you still cry or smile as much as I do now? Have you done right things in your life? Have you done the things you've really wanted to do?

Are you the person you've always wanted to be when you were still at my age?

No matter what your answers are to my questions, there's one thing I want to be sure of.

I hope you are happy. Truthfully, honestly, f*cking happy.

And always remember that no matter what you've become and who you are, I will always love you.





P.S. I hope you're much wiser now.

Love,

21-year-old me

Amnesia

I’ve been repeatedly drawing eyes on any piece of paper I see, trying to capture your eyes and how they look at me as they pierce and lay right through my soul.

A hundred attempts and pieces of paper and I still can’t do it.

You’re gone. I’m gone.

I can’t look at myself in the mirror.

There's no turning back.