applegamboaon Thursday, December 9, 2010
This weekend would be the start of my really MERRY Christmas season for lots of reasons!
A. This Friday: Payday and News on Q's Christmas party! I actually can't remember where we're gonna have it but as long as I'm with my big family with good food, games and music, I sure am gonna have one helluva great night! I'm so looking forward to it! ( Well, except for our mandatory intermission number. Sucks to be new LOL)
AND! We're going to celebrate Ate Catha's birthday! After the Christmas party, we're planning to go to any karaoke then proceed to Banchetto, that is if we still have the energy and appetite to do so.
B. This Saturday: Unang Hirit's Christmas party! We're going to have it at Mrs. Lyn Ching-Pascual's mansion. There will be games and an on the spot exchange gift giving. And again, I'm included in one of the performances but for a prize. LOL. I don't know if I should be excited or shit nervous about it. I haven't danced in public for four years.
C. Next weekend: RESERVED FOR THE JEEP! We're going to have a Christmas party at Dharel's place wherein we have to be dressed as a TV/movie character. And I've decided to go as Rachel Berry so I hope Lian would not be a pain in the ass by going to the party as Rachel too. :)) Of course there's Monito Monita and we're going to bring food for the party. I bet we'd play Charades or Pinoy Henyo. I'm planning to make some happy juice for the group. *wink*
I actually don't know if I will still be invited to other parties but if I will be, then more parties mean more fun... and more gifts. LOL.
So, I'm sparing my Monito/Monita from the difficulty of thinking which gift I would like to receive so here's a short list of the things I want right now.
1. A book that he/she knows that I really want.
2. A jacket. Maybe have our names sewn at the back of it. LOL.
3. Any clothing actually. Maybe a casual dress. A shirt?
4. Yes, I've been dying for an external hard drive because my laptop's broken.
5. A ring that wouldn't remind me of anyone or anything except the one who gave it.
6. Money to have my laptop repaired. LOL
7. A free day to do the things I want and be with the people I wanna be with.
8. A Maroon5 ticket for their concert next year.
9. A date with my crush in the newsroom. :))
10. Errrr... A silver necklace? A new black tumblr? :))
11. A drug, or anything that could erase memories please.
12. SHOES! Size 7 to 7 1/2 :)
I actually just wrote this post for like five minutes because it's already 12:30 mn and I have to be awake by 2 a.m. sooo I have to say good night now 'coz I'm writing like a crazy, drunk kiddo.
Hope you're also going to have fun for the next days and weeks to come!
applegamboaon Monday, December 6, 2010
The title itself, is one of the grandest things I learned this year, and is also that one thing I didn't quite practice.
You see, I was stupid. So stupid that I myself didn't even realize until the world shook me. I kept on trying and trying to find that love that I think could heal or make me forget the things or that person that had changed my life in such a brief time.
I tried to date and get to know other guys, thinking I have already moved on. I've been in another relationship and after a few months I realized that actually, it's never going to be enough that someone is just there, or what other might say, someone "owns" you and you, "own" him. First, company can never compensate for true understanding; for being with someone who really knows you and can be there for you even without saying a word, or that someone who you can be yourself with. Second, nobody can ever own another; you only own yourself.
I was impatient. I tried to develop feelings that I know couldn't even materialize because deep inside me, I know I didn't want to feel them.
This could be mean or selfish of me, but there was this one time I tried to get know this person, I really didn't feel anything, and I know he felt the same way. I was looking at him and in my mind I was telling myself "like him, he's nice..etc.", but every freaking time I looked at him, I saw another person and my heart shouted "Save me, take me away from here".
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret knowing these people, They've taught me a lesson or two. But what I regret is that I tried to look for love when what's true is that it finds you.
And up to now, I believe in such a bittersweet way that love found me three years ago, during that one cold night in November in front of the UST church.
All it took was a handshake and a nervous hello, and I knew we found each other.
And I hope he'll find me again 'coz I'm not going anywhere.